How to say goodbye to your dog

Saying goodbye to your pet is hard. We understand that. But you can help by listening to it, identifying its needs, and helping to take its pain away. We know how you feel. That’s why we created this guide to help you.

What you need to know

We must also take into account that within a species or breed the average life span may vary depending on criteria such as size, weight and quality of life.

It’s difficult to come to terms with the end of your pet’s life. It’s even more difficult on the day your pet dies. Imagine how you might feel on that day. We want to help you better understand the final medical gestures, so you can anticipate the management of pain. We will thus explain some of the last medical gestures and what they mean for you and your pet.  It’s difficult to come to terms with the end of your pet’s life. It’s even more difficult on the day your pet dies. Imagine how you might feel on that day. We want to help you better understand the final medical gestures, so you can anticipate the management of pain. We will thus explain some of the last medical gestures and what they mean for you and your pet.

A decision made with the vet

During the natural ageing process of your  companion, or following an incurable disease or an accident, the fateful and unacceptable moment arrives when the veterinarian announces that it is henceforth preferable not to let your dog live in these conditions of suffering, in order to avoid a painful agony.

This decision to euthanise is terrible to take and to live with, very guilt-inducing and can cause great psychological suffering. Because euthanasia is not an obligation… You should know that veterinarians are trained and present to listen to you and accompany you in these trying moments. Their medical opinion is essential, so that this decision can be taken with full knowledge of the facts. In addition, their point of view is in any case obligatory because they are sometimes unfortunately witnesses of abuses by certain owners, even if it is not your case. It is important to understand the real state of health of your companion, and to really assimilate what no one wants to hear: that you can no longer leave your friend in this state because there is nothing more you can do to help him… Except in an emergency (accident), you have a little time to think about it and decide. Your vet will take the time to explain all this to you, as well as the gestures he will make to soften your dog’s last moments.

At home or at the vet’s office?

You should know that euthanasia can take place at home (unless you have just arrived at the vet’s office in an emergency, after an accident for example). This choice is not obvious to everyone. You may prefer your pet to leave this world in the peace and quiet of his home, in his usual environment with his basket, his toys and… the place where his beloved master lives. Without having to be kept on the vet’s examination table. This possibility of leaving at home is more reassuring for the dog and, often, for his master. Other people, on the other hand, will not be able to bear this idea: to think that they will then have to go into the room where their friend died is not an easy thing to conceive and risks bringing them back permanently to a very sad memory… They will then prefer that their dog’s last moments take place in the veterinary surgery. The choice will therefore depend on each individual and the possibilities in each case. Even if it is still rare in urban areas, the demand for home euthanasia is increasingly strong, as owners want to put the animal’s well-being first, thus avoiding the cold and stressful environment of the practitioner’s office.

Furthermore, when an old and sick dog can no longer move around on its own, it should be given a peaceful death. It should be done for the dog, but also for the owner.  This avoids unnecessary stress for your pet, as well as an unpleasant and difficult time for you. If you have other pets at home, they may also be distressed to see that their friend has left the house (to go to the vet) and then not returned. They then cry for him and may look for him everywhere in the house… But it is difficult to anticipate all this.

Tenderness dog child

In conclusion to euthanasia at home, the veterinarian will have to take your pet’s remains with him. You may not want to think about it now, but his departure from your home will be difficult to bear. The best way to be aware of this is to think about it beforehand. You can also bury your friend at home with an ecological coffin.

The final steps

The veterinarian’s actions are both delicate and painful to deal with, but it is necessary to understand them well, if possible in advance. First of all, you should know that the word “euthanasia” comes from the Greek: “Eu” meaning “good” and “Thanatos” meaning “death”. The word “euthanasia” therefore expresses “a gentle, painless death”. It shortens the animal’s suffering in the best possible conditions. Don’t hesitate to ask any delicate questions during a regular session at the vet’s, so as not to be surprised on the last day of your dog’s life: under the effect of the products, physical reactions may indeed occur, especially at the muscular level (movements and relaxations) but these are “reflex” reactions, your dog is not aware of them and does not suffer.

Your vet will explain to you the injections he is giving, the number of injections and the products used, as well as the speed of action of the injections. Don’t be surprised, vets may have a procedure of shaving and disinfecting the part of the paw where the injections are going to be given, which may seem absurd in such a case, but you should know. The practitioner will then start by administering a sedative, if necessary, to relax and gently put your dog to sleep, and then inject a strong anaesthetic. Your dog will then fall asleep quickly and painlessly. This will be a deep analgesia, not “sleep” in the usual sense. Once your pet is deeply asleep, the veterinarian will administer a euthanasia product, which will stop its heart and breathing, thus finally freeing your pet from its unacceptable suffering.

Some vets will only give one injection, but the animal will always fall asleep and leave without suffering. These medical procedures take only a few minutes in total.

To be present or not

You also have a role to play, if you feel able to do so: what better proof of love and recognition to give to your companion than to be present at his side until the last moment? Caress him, talk to him… assure him of your ever-present, strong and unfailing love… Tell him how much he has been your best friend and that you are grateful to him for having had the happiness of being his master. He will hear and understand this. He will also be reassured and happy to see you at his side. Then, you will let him fall asleep little by little, while continuing to talk to him and cuddle him… Keep him close to you, in your arms, for as long as it takes, after he has left. He was your friend, he’s gone and you have the right to express and let out your sorrow and tears… According to psychologists, accompanying your dog in his last moments facilitates the mourning process. However, don’t feel guilty about not attending if you don’t feel able to; you can, in any case, ask to see the body of your companion after the operation and stay a moment to mourn at his side.

Grieving process

After the departure of your four-legged love, the discomfort and loss are strong and your grief is immense… How to recognise and manage the emotions you will feel afterwards? We will describe the stages usually experienced during this grieving process. You should know that, in a while, the pain will fade away and you will see that the memory of your friend will bring back to you beautiful puffs of love and tenderness, new rewards of such a strong friendship that will never end, finally. Thanks to all that this wonderful dog will have given you.

The stages of the grieving process

In general, there are 5 stages in the mourning process for our dog. However, you will not necessarily go through these phases, or you will not go through them in this order. You may also go through a phase you have already gone through. You will go through at least two of these phases, according to studies by psychologists (some go into more detail, counting 7 phases; if you want more details on this, there are several links at the end of this page). It is therefore important to be aware of these phases, in order to better understand and go through them. In addition, you may also have to deal with this grief with your children, who will also be going through this painful time with you.

The 5 phases of grief

The denial phase

In the aftermath of a tragedy, some people will repress what has happened because it’s too hard to bear. “No. It can’t be… not my friend, not my dog.”

The anger phase 

Anger at many people. It can sometimes be directed at your vet, because some of you wonder if he tried everything before reaching this point, even though he knows his job well. Against other dog owners too, who are lucky enough to have their dog still alive… Against some of your relatives, too, who tell you: “just get another one! As if another dog could replace the one you’ve just lost… when it’s not a broken object to be bought back identically! You have lost your companion, your friend, even a real member of your family… No other dog will be like that one! So you blame everyone who seems to be taking this death lightly… and who is often just clumsy.

The guilt phase

The anger described above, you can turn it on yourself, sometimes: filled with enormous guilt, you ask yourself if you did everything right to save your dog. “Did I do something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did I treat my dog badly? Should I have waited or done something different? The questions go round and round in your head, very often. Here, you have accepted this death, but guilt gnaws at you, you accuse yourself of having been perhaps negligent… When this anger against yourself rises to this point and impacts your state of health, do not hesitate to consult your doctor. Do not remain in this state, as depression can be a threat to some people. It is normal to feel a lot of grief, but if it is eating away at you to the point of paralysis in your daily life, do not hesitate to seek medical advice.

Against other docile As if another dog could replace the one you’ve just lost… when it’s not a broken object to be bought back identically! You have lost your companion, your friend, even a real member of your family… No other dog will be like that one! So you blame everyone who seems to be taking this death lightly… and who is often just clumsy.

The guilt phase

the anger described above, you can turn it on yourself, sometimes: filled with enormous guilt, you ask yourself if you did everything right to save your dog. “Did I do something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did I treat my dog badly? Should I have waited or done something different? The questions go round and round in your head, very often. Here, you have accepted this death, but guilt gnaws at you, you accuse yourself of having been perhaps negligent… Do not remain in this state, as depression can be a threat to some people. It is normal to feel a lot of grief, but if it is eating away at you to the point of paralysis in your daily life, do not hesitate to seek medical advice.

The grief phase

During this stage, you are often alone with your sadness, even your despair. The tears flow unabated for long periods of time. You are in great pain, of course. This period can last several weeks and is part of the normal grieving process. Most masters will go through this phase… necessary to get rid of all the pain. Do not hesitate to confide in all the caring people who will lend you a listening ear. Some of them have already experienced the loss of a companion and will understand you.

The acceptance phase

In this final phase, you have accepted the death of your partner. As with any life, his had to end… You start to be able to talk about him again, you suffer less and you remember, with pleasure, certain moments spent with him. You start to talk about him again, you suffer less and you remember, with pleasure, certain moments spent with him. You resume the course of your life having overcome the phase of grief. You might even consider brightening up your life again with a new dog. Take your time. The day you’re ready to do it, and if it’s what you really want, then you’ll know, deep down.

Helping your children grieve

If you have children, this time of life is doubly difficult, as you will also have to deal with their own grief.

Try to find the right words, adapted to their age, and answer their questions, without lying to them: their dog “didn’t leave” or “didn’t get lost”! Otherwise, they will wait for him to come back! By hearing your explanation of the death of their four-legged friend, they will understand what the cycle of life is. Because the final death of their dog is undoubtedly their first confrontation with death… (and probably, before that, with illness).